Maximuscr31
12-14-2004, 03:17 PM
Dear Friends:
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have I will tell my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree. I was going to bring you all the gifts from the 12 Days of Christmas, but we had a little problem.
You see, the 12 Drummers Drumming have all come down with VD from "drumming" with the 9 Ladies Dancing. The 10 Lords-a-Leaping have knocked up the 8 Maids-a-Milking and the 11 Pipers Piping have been arrested for doing weird things with the 7 Swans-a-Swimming.
Now the 6 Geese-a-Laying, the 4 Calling Birds, the 3 French Hens, the 2 Turtle Doves and the Partridge in the Pear Tree, have me up to my sled runners in bird shit!
On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going thru menopause, my 8 reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and some people who can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for January 5th.
Maybe next year I will be able to get my stuff together and bring you the things you want. This year, I suggest you get your asses down to Wal-mart before everything is gone. Merry Christmas!
Love, Santa
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have I will tell my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree. I was going to bring you all the gifts from the 12 Days of Christmas, but we had a little problem.
You see, the 12 Drummers Drumming have all come down with VD from "drumming" with the 9 Ladies Dancing. The 10 Lords-a-Leaping have knocked up the 8 Maids-a-Milking and the 11 Pipers Piping have been arrested for doing weird things with the 7 Swans-a-Swimming.
Now the 6 Geese-a-Laying, the 4 Calling Birds, the 3 French Hens, the 2 Turtle Doves and the Partridge in the Pear Tree, have me up to my sled runners in bird shit!
On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going thru menopause, my 8 reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and some people who can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for January 5th.
Maybe next year I will be able to get my stuff together and bring you the things you want. This year, I suggest you get your asses down to Wal-mart before everything is gone. Merry Christmas!
Love, Santa