When bad things happen to good people

[Dash]

I know man I isn't right................my heads all jacked up dude..........can't find my way anymore........................you smell that?

Aw dude someone farted really big..................run like hell man...that's poison. I can't feel my nose man..where are we. Somebody dial 911.......

where did that light come from man.............it's really really bright..........dude turn down the tunes I think someone is call us from the other side of that light. You there? what do you want man? No way dude that light is too bright. I ain't comin in there........................dude, I said smolder the tunes I can't hear what man is tryin to say......................speak up man, my bro hear can't find the volume and the tunes are way too loud...........................yeah man that is aerosmith........... cool yeah dude Tyler rocks and he 's gotta kickin daughter..............hey how do we get outta hear man? somebody farted on the way up and it's totally thrown us off course...............what? hang on dude my bro just dropped his smoke on the carpet...............pick it up dude it's burnin a hole..........what? no man it's all right. yeah we got it put out.......no major damage.I'll just put some gum over that burned spot..............what?.......no dude casey is at work................I'll call him when we figure out how to get outta here.....hey dude can you shut that light off man.....................it's totally killin my peepers dude...........

[Hotrod Jr]

[Dude...What..? Turn down the tunes i cant hear you..Yea im still at work, by the way whats that smell...is there somthing dead..?

[Dash]

I think it's what's left of my burrito........you remember two night ago we went to the Taco Loco? Yeah that's what it is dude. If you find it man pass it over here. Dude I am starving.

[Hotrod Jr]

I got it..It was under all those fritos from that popcorn fight we got into, the dog actually found it and brought it to me..He had an aweful look on his face when he did so i figured that i would try it...the criters were all hard, And now i think the dog is dead and hes got dirty teeth..O well at least it dont stink no moe..Ill put the rest in my nap sack for you..jeroldine brought some more Tropical frizz over, ill save you some...
Are you stil planning on goin to the flamingo tonight to do some of that super dooper pole sufing dancin you do..?

[Dash]

Originally posted by Hotrod Jr
I got it..It was under all those fritos from that popcorn fight we got into, the dog actually found it and brought it to me..He had an aweful look on his face when he did so i figured that i would try it...the criters were all hard, And now i think the dog is dead and hes got dirty teeth..O well at least it dont stink no moe..Ill put the rest in my nap sack for you..jeroldine brought some more Tropical frizz over, ill save you some...
Are you stil planning on goin to the flamingo tonight to do some of that super dooper pole sufing dancin you do..?

Dude I am so there if I can get my crapper fixed. Man I got home from work today and someone had brocken into my trailer and kicked my commode over. Dude, there was peices of toilet everywhere and it smelled worse than that time you and I ran over the porta- shitter in your old gremiln V8. I gotta go get some more tape....Hopefully I'll see you at the flamingo later..........Dude wear that new leather and plastic short set I got you last week.

[Hotrod Jr]

Man i had almost forgot about the porta potty incident...That was the good ole days..So sombody got into your trailer that sucks...I told you that screen door wouldnt keep somone from getting in....They didnt steal your snail collection did they...I know those african curl tail snails are exspensive..

[Dash]

Originally posted by Hotrod Jr
Man i had almost forgot about the porta potty incident...That was the good ole days..So sombody got into your trailer that sucks...I told you that screen door wouldnt keep somone from getting in....They didnt steal your snail collection did they...I know those african curl tail snails are exspensive..

Your right expensive.luckily they weren't touched, however the vandals did tear a whole in my velvet Elvis painting and they drank all of my Worlds fair beer. Also my 8 tracks were scattered all over the place and I think Molly Hatchet and 38 special tapes are missing.............Bro I am devastated.............all last night I just sat there staring at the King trying to tape my commode back together..............I guess you were at the flamingo. I tried you several times on your CB, but you weren't there 10-4?
Oh well. I feel better today. I'm gonna go by the Phillips 66 station and see if that guy in the Dodge van has any Elvis paintings left. Last weekend he was done to 4. He still had plenty of the dogs playing poker. Hey, gotta go , there's someone at the door trying to sell me a vacuum cleaner........................?????????oh no way Dude.I don't even have carpet.

[Hotrod Jr]

Who messes with the King they must not be from around hur. And drank all your beer, We'll find'em aint many people could drink all that beer We mixed it real stong. Remember when poured some in rovers bowl...He was soo messed up he got his sack caught on the toy box..And we had to tye him up by the sink hole out back..Cause he wouldnt quit yappin...Wonder what ever happened to him..
And your 8 tracks...They didnt get our slip and slide favorite did they...The beach Boys greatest hits...Geeze hope not...
Have you got any tape for the commode yet..? I got a bunch of zip tyes and some sand mountain chrome paint..We'll get it done more better.
But you did miss out on the flamingo last night. The had Billy Ray Cirus, and Sting live...Everybody was two steppin table dancin all night...It was fun. Moe and sue passed out on the slide in the playgound. Who knows what they were doin...I think there crazy...There always talkin about stuff that dont make no sence...I think there on somthing....

[Dash]

Originally posted by Hotrod Jr
Who messes with the King they must not be from around hur. And drank all your beer, We'll find'em aint many people could drink all that beer We mixed it real stong. Remember when poured some in rovers bowl...He was soo messed up he got his sack caught on the toy box..And we had to tye him up by the sink hole out back..Cause he wouldnt quit yappin...Wonder what ever happened to him..
And your 8 tracks...They didnt get our slip and slide favorite did they...The beach Boys greatest hits...Geeze hope not...
Have you got any tape for the commode yet..? I got a bunch of zip tyes and some sand mountain chrome paint..We'll get it done more better.
But you did miss out on the flamingo last night. The had Billy Ray Cirus, and Sting live...Everybody was two steppin table dancin all night...It was fun. Moe and sue passed out on the slide in the playgound. Who knows what they were doin...I think there crazy...There always talkin about stuff that dont make no sence...I think there on somthing....

Man I shore hates I missed out on all dat dancin.. Moe told me Sue was takin some medication for her atletes foot and it got her all messed up. Said sometimes she'll run off down the street bare ass naked shouting 'bout the hob goblins wuz gonna get her. I tell you what, if me an you gets my toilet chromed Ill be the envy of the whole lower upper east south mobile home trailer court . Errybidee be wantin to see my crapper.

I am thinkin we had to put rover down some time ago.....after he took a liken to ole misses Boutamire's cat. I miss that old dog. Member when he farted in church that day and reverend holtzclaw thought it was you? That wuz funny

[Hotrod Jr]

Yea ive heard that atheletes foot medication aint nuttin to mess with excpecially with wiskey..But that exsplains alot..
Maybe we should set up a toliet stand like billy blowme and oliver clothsoffs outhouse wharehouse..Chome commodes we'd be the shizz nit...
I had forgott about her cat..Thats right he ran around with that thing stuck on him for a week...Nobody could catch him...We had to tell everyone that they were just good friends and he was just carrying her arround...I dont know how we came up with that one...Sometimes we can come up with some b.s when we put our minds together...
And when he farted in church, that was embarrasing...The plumber lady that was beside me still blames me...but thats allright cause we got her good when we had her crawl under the house to fix that leak and we flushed those m-80s down.....gooolie..She was covered in all kinds of crap...But at least the grass grows under the house real good now...I think the lift kit helped too cause now more light gets under there...

[Dash]

Originally posted by Hotrod Jr
Yea ive heard that atheletes foot medication aint nuttin to mess with excpecially with wiskey..But that exsplains alot..
Maybe we should set up a toliet stand like billy blowme and oliver clothsoffs outhouse wharehouse..Chome commodes we'd be the shizz nit...
I had forgott about her cat..Thats right he ran around with that thing stuck on him for a week...Nobody could catch him...We had to tell everyone that they were just good friends and he was just carrying her arround...I dont know how we came up with that one...Sometimes we can come up with some b.s when we put our minds together...
And when he farted in church, that was embarrasing...The plumber lady that was beside me still blames me...but thats allright cause we got her good when we had her crawl under the house to fix that leak and we flushed those m-80s down.....gooolie..She was covered in all kinds of crap...But at least the grass grows under the house real good now...I think the lift kit helped too cause now more light gets under there...

OK, I guess somebody thinked it would be real funny to go and break my commode again. I wuz at the Toy Race and somebody.I thinks it wuz Moe and Sue gite back in my trailer and tore my toilet all to hell. Aint no fixin this one. For right now I just have to use a old folgers cofee can and let me tell you. after I eats a bucket of Ole Man Jiggers wings and tamales it don't take long fer it to get filled up. Then I gites to haul it out back and dump it over the nieghbors fence. Anyways, if you don't mind see if you can find me a decent toilet. It don't gite to be chrome like the other, but it does gite to flush. I'm startin to wear a path from the back door to the fence and won't be long before the nieghbors figures me out.

[Hotrod Jr]

Thats messed up...Did you ever find you another Elvis picture..? Im thinking that the guy down the street from 1quickgixxer might have done it...Cause he sells them and he dont do much buisness...So the people he sells em to, he goes to there house and tears it up so theyll have to come get another...And it was messed up cause he had some jane fondas greatest hits and KC and the sunshine band 8 tracks like got took from you. And i remeber that KC and the sunshine band tape was your favorite, like when we had to cruise the skating ring trying to find moe after he drank that whole bottle of cough surup and thought he was deputy dawg and took off running through the projects with his snoopy tighty whiteys on...wheeew that was the night..We had to treat him to nachos and two slurpees from 7-eleven before we could get him in the car....

[Dash]

Originally posted by Hotrod Jr
Thats messed up...Did you ever find you another Elvis picture..? Im thinking that the guy down the street from 1quickgixxer might have done it...Cause he sells them and he dont do much buisness...So the people he sells em to, he goes to there house and tears it up so theyll have to come get another...And it was messed up cause he had some jane fondas greatest hits and KC and the sunshine band 8 tracks like got took from you. And i remeber that KC and the sunshine band tape was your favorite, like when we had to cruise the skating ring trying to find moe after he drank that whole bottle of cough surup and thought he was deputy dawg and took off running through the projects with his snoopy tighty whiteys on...wheeew that was the night..We had to treat him to nachos and two slurpees from 7-eleven before we could get him in the car....

I member that Bro................man I feel better now just thinkin bout that. You reckon we could get another KC and the Sunshine Band 8 track? Man we shore did get the chinks when we cruised skate town with them tunes cranked, My old snapper rider throwed a belt and now I gites to walk to work. You think you could give me a ride tomorrow, Or let me borrow the Pacer. I'll clean the windows fer you............................oh crap..I'll have to get back with ya.......i gites to go use the can.........the folgers can that is...............................................w hew weeeeemy bowels is a crampin bad..........dem wings needs to be set freeeeeeeee

[Hotrod Jr]

Originally posted by Dash
I member that Bro................man I feel better now just thinkin bout that. You reckon we could get another KC and the Sunshine Band 8 track? Man we shore did get the chinks when we cruised skate town with them tunes cranked, My old snapper rider throwed a belt and now I gites to walk to work. You think you could give me a ride tomorrow, Or let me borrow the Pacer. I'll clean the windows fer you............................oh crap..I'll have to get back with ya.......i gites to go use the can.........the folgers can that is...............................................w hew weeeeemy bowels is a crampin bad..........dem wings needs to be set freeeeeeeee
Man id stay away from dem wangs...Dont sound there donin you well....Yea we can git another one of those 8 tracks from hubcap annie down the road...I talked to her earlier today..She s still pretty hot other then her limp from when ralph that monkey we had humped her leg for like three hours and we couldnt get him off so we jus had to let the poor guy finish...Hold up someones at the door....o its her......we gotta go out and see if we can find her ring in the back of my Pacer...Guess she dropped it when she was giving me that lap dance when we were listening to that Richard simons tape.....

[Dash]

Originally posted by Hotrod Jr
Man id stay away from dem wangs...Dont sound there donin you well....Yea we can git another one of those 8 tracks from hubcap annie down the road...I talked to her earlier today..She s still pretty hot other then her limp from when ralph that monkey we had humped her leg for like three hours and we couldnt get him off so we jus had to let the poor guy finish...Hold up someones at the door....o its her......we gotta go out and see if we can find her ring in the back of my Pacer...Guess she dropped it when she was giving me that lap dance when we were listening to that Richard simons tape.....

Hey Bro, that's my Richard Simons tape. I need it back. I'm startin to put on a little from all them wings and tamales. Although from the looks of that mess over behind the neihbors fence you shore couldn't tell. Bill Finster came by and said I was due some money on account he over charged me for my fishin bait last year. Says I waz payin bout 17 cents a pound more for crickets than I shoulda. Anyway he writed me a check for three dollars and 11 cents. You wanna go out tonight and celebrate? On me bro? we could get Annie and Big Marge to go with us. Maybe go dancin or i could get us some bullets and we could all go shoot cans over at Pappy Duncuns compost heap. either is good with me. gimme a shout on my cb later 10-4

[1qwikgixxer]

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TWO ABOUT HUFFING GAS AGAIN!!! SEE HOW IT MAKES YOU ACT!!!

[Dash]

Originally posted by 1qwikgixxer
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TWO ABOUT HUFFING GAS AGAIN!!! SEE HOW IT MAKES YOU ACT!!!

Sorry Man, but it ain't gas..it's VP Ultimate 4. And you is da one dat gave it to us. Jr huffed most of it. I only gite a little. The rest we poured on Miss Boutamires cat. it ran some low 7.s then petered out. we needs more fuel for the cat dude.

[Hotrod Jr]

Originally posted by Dash
Hey Bro, that's my Richard Simons tape. I need it back. I'm startin to put on a little from all them wings and tamales. Although from the looks of that mess over behind the neihbors fence you shore couldn't tell. Bill Finster came by and said I was due some money on account he over charged me for my fishin bait last year. Says I waz payin bout 17 cents a pound more for crickets than I shoulda. Anyway he writed me a check for three dollars and 11 cents. You wanna go out tonight and celebrate? On me bro? we could get Annie and Big Marge to go with us. Maybe go dancin or i could get us some bullets and we could all go shoot cans over at Pappy Duncuns compost heap. either is good with me. gimme a shout on my cb later 10-4

I tried to get a hold of you on the cb...But mine aint puttin out for some reason... I think my linear is broke...o well..Thats cool bill gave you all that money, thats like getin an extra income tax return...I think big marge is still mad at you for not odering her a third helping of those roasted troughted pig snouts...But i bet if you took her a bagel to her she forget all about it...Or one of those candy necklaces she like so much. But anyways yea lets go do somthing...If go shootin im gonna have to go get sum more bb's....Just let me know...

[Dash]

Originally posted by Hotrod Jr
I tried to get a hold of you on the cb...But mine aint puttin out for some reason... I think my linear is broke...o well..Thats cool bill gave you all that money, thats like getin an extra income tax return...I think big marge is still mad at you for not odering her a third helping of those roasted troughted pig snouts...But i bet if you took her a bagel to her she forget all about it...Or one of those candy necklaces she like so much. But anyways yea lets go do somthing...If go shootin im gonna have to go get sum more bb's....Just let me know...

Wonder if quikgixxer wants to come with us? I bet he could get the Beasley twins to go, specially if they find out we gite pig snouts. Member when Wilma Skinard, you know Leonard's cousin from the Bayou, came over to your tupperware party and got drunk on that old jug of home made beer we mixed up. Man I thought she was gonna dance all night. If you had'nt cracked her in the noggin with that cinder block I bet she woulda. I think we shoulda took her all the way home instead of leaving her at the shelter all wrapped up in that old army blanket. It was funny though when that bum tried to take her blanket and she wailed him with that empty jug of beer. Sakes that was good fun.

[Hotrod Jr]

Originally posted by Dash
Wonder if quikgixxer wants to come with us? I bet he could get the Beasley twins to go, specially if they find out we gite pig snouts. Member when Wilma Skinard, you know Leonard's cousin from the Bayou, came over to your tupperware party and got drunk on that old jug of home made beer we mixed up. Man I thought she was gonna dance all night. If you had'nt cracked her in the noggin with that cinder block I bet she woulda. I think we shoulda took her all the way home instead of leaving her at the shelter all wrapped up in that old army blanket. It was funny though when that bum tried to take her blanket and she wailed him with that empty jug of beer. Sakes that was good fun.
I heard that the beasley twins made a home video with ole Blue...I wish we hadnt gave him away other then the church incident and the time with paps and...well i guess i miss em...
That tupperware party was fun....Wilma and ole doug disappeared for like an hour and come back all red in the face, i think the went for a quick jog but who knows...But she was sure excited thats when she got so drunk. Member before she came in and started dancin she was break dancin in the front yard singin.."Im a little tea pot"...Shes a wild one...I heard her and some guy named Jeremy Hicks was gitin married...1qwikgixxer said jeremy was hairy like a monkey, so theyll probably get along good since she dont shave either....

[BoBaFett]

WHAT THE HELL!!! I want a hit please!!! :lick::cool:

[Hotrod Jr]

Originally posted by BoBaFett
WHAT THE HELL!!! I want a hit please!!! :lick::cool:
Its that VP gas dash has been bringing home....It had him running in circles saying my ass is unwound, someone hurry pick it up the cats drunk and ate all the cheerioes...I got it all on tape...Then he ran through the screen door on our trailer..course the dog had done chewed the screen out of it anyway, but it was still funny, we also have a 3 inch shakle lift with a 5 inch block lift under our trailer so it sits up pretty high, it took me a half hour to get him back in...

[Dash]

Originally posted by Hotrod Jr
Its that VP gas dash has been bringing home....It had him running in circles saying my ass is unwound, someone hurry pick it up the cats drunk and ate all the cheerioes...I got it all on tape...Then he ran through the screen door on our trailer..course the dog had done chewed the screen out of it anyway, but it was still funny, we also have a 3 inch shakle lift with a 5 inch block lift under our trailer so it sits up pretty high, it took me a half hour to get him back in...

Hey Bro, we gites to do some work on the trailer home/condo babe lair ,uh er layer, I ain't sure on the spellin. Anyway, I waz movin it yesterday so we wonts have to walk through the mud hole to get in the door and one of the liftin blocks done felled out. The sumbitch bout flipped and took me and the murray ridin mower I borried from Vernan Gillesepie down with it. I turned off the mowin blades and got everything calmed down, but we gites to fix it before this weekend when Big marge and the Beasley twins come over. I don't think it could take Big Marge let alone the twins too. Plus we is suppose to let Wanda and Helen have one of them artificial weenie parties next week at our place. You know how wild all them ladies gets when they sees that big box of plastic goobers and igzotic oils and stuff. Theys libal to take the whole place down. How would we splain that to the law dogs? Dazed and confused women runnin around and the whole yard be littered with ding dongs and love makin potions and stuff. man anyway, please help me fix it when your shift at the 7-11 is over, OK Bro

[Dash]

Originally posted by BoBaFett
WHAT THE HELL!!! I want a hit please!!! :lick::cool:

Sorry BOBAFETT we done poured the last of it on Ms. Boutamire's cat. Maybe if you can catch it you could get a little bit of a hit from her tail. ring a little bit out of her fur. Only when you puts that cat down you better run like hells fire cuase that is one mean kitty.

[Hotrod Jr]

Mannn i thought ole cooter was jokin.....you know cooter that stays in the utility closet at the motel 8 on gurford st. He said when he was out riding his mongoose today he seen the trailer had rolled over...I had done did thoughted he was kiding...Cause you know he aint the mostest absorbant tampon in the box....Yea ...We b needin to get that fixed....First the comode now this...Theres gonna be people thinking were redneks er somthin...Will go down to the flamingo tonight im sure there will be someone there with a big truck thatll help us...If sue give moe all dem PMS pills in his gallo tonight we use his truck...Hell never know, and sue will be down at the local gay bar trying to find jeremy...So it sounds like a plan...Jus don tell marge or the beasly twins we dont wont to let them get away...There the last couple of women around us still in the blood line..And maw would have our ass if she found out wes mingling outside the family....

[Dash]

Originally posted by Hotrod Jr
Mannn i thought ole cooter was jokin.....you know cooter that stays in the utility closet at the motel 8 on gurford st. He said when he was out riding his mongoose today he seen the trailer had rolled over...I had done did thoughted he was kiding...Cause you know he aint the mostest absorbant tampon in the box....Yea ...We b needin to get that fixed....First the comode now this...Theres gonna be people thinking were redneks er somthin...Will go down to the flamingo tonight im sure there will be someone there with a big truck thatll help us...If sue give moe all dem PMS pills in his gallo tonight we use his truck...Hell never know, and sue will be down at the local gay bar trying to find jeremy...So it sounds like a plan...Jus don tell marge or the beasly twins we dont wont to let them get away...There the last couple of women around us still in the blood line..And maw would have our ass if she found out wes mingling outside the family....

Good thing fer us maw can't read too well. And as far as computers go, hell I reckon she's still thinkin that old zenith we wired that type writer to is a computer. we just turn it to chanel 7 and she goes to beatin on that type writer and she's happy. Corse Pappy gets all pissed of cause he says that dam internet can't pick up no porn. Member when we sneaked and popped in that home made video doug and jeremy made with Jennie May roberts and that string of catfish? They wuz all nekkid and throwin fish around. Paps saw that on the zenith computer and thought he was watchin real live internet porn. He was so happy........................til maw caught him. ain't teknoligy a wunderful thaing..........brings us all closer as a family.

[Hotrod Jr]

Hell i member that like it wur yusterday...Paw couldnt get the computor off..He tried everything in the world..But he got busted....That was the video ware Doug kept slapin jeremy with that fish and he thought jennie were doin it and he knocked her out...
I finally found that old trolling moter wed been lookin fur...It was out in ole slappys barn under all dem chickens..It was still bolted to that garbage can from wen we used to try to make it accross the pond..I still think we would of made it if it had a bottom in it...One of dem damn chickens tried to bit me when i got it..He musta thunk it were his...I told slappy and i think he shot it..He said all dem chickens wer goin to hell casue the had ate his prized carrots..I told him chickens dont eat carrot they eat cabage..but what does he know anyway...

[Hotrod Jr]

I had almost forgot to tell you, werdest thang happened yesterday, me and slappy and shirley went done to judds hole in the wall to get some good eatens and id be damn who i raned into...Ole Jaroldene flyhawk he didnt even reconize me..I said "Well butter my butt and call me a buisket, you dont member me" and after we talked a wile he membered..He still the same as always, when i was gone to the bathroom he tried to steel my teeth, well days not actually mine days my brothers but we share....But shirley caught him..he had that one girl from da skewl house wit him...aaaaa....aaaaa.....well i dont member her name but she was always in da back of mulers rabbit...Shes still cuter than a sack of puppies ..But anyways.... we had some of the frizzle fried snail tails and i tells you whut there gooder than grits...Shirley kept pootin the hole way back and slappy made her walk from the end of the driveway to the house and you know that be like 2 miles and it hard to git back there without foe wheel drive...But i reckon theys a hangin in there purty good they told me to tell ya high and show you this picture they had professionaly dided....So hur it is..they told me day tried to send us a letter wit there address but the people who moved out took the numbers with them off the house so day didnt no it,..

[Dash]

Originally posted by Hotrod Jr
I had almost forgot to tell you, werdest thang happened yesterday, me and slappy and shirley went done to judds hole in the wall to get some good eatens and id be damn who i raned into...Ole Jaroldene flyhawk he didnt even reconize me..I said "Well butter my butt and call me a buisket, you dont member me" and after we talked a wile he membered..He still the same as always, when i was gone to the bathroom he tried to steel my teeth, well days not actually mine days my brothers but we share....But shirley caught him..he had that one girl from da skewl house wit him...aaaaa....aaaaa.....well i dont member her name but she was always in da back of mulers rabbit...Shes still cuter than a sack of puppies ..But anyways.... we had some of the frizzle fried snail tails and i tells you whut there gooder than grits...Shirley kept pootin the hole way back and slappy made her walk from the end of the driveway to the house and you know that be like 2 miles and it hard to git back there without foe wheel drive...But i reckon theys a hangin in there purty good they told me to tell ya high and show you this picture they had professionaly dided....So hur it is..they told me day tried to send us a letter wit there address but the people who moved out took the numbers with them off the house so day didnt no it,..

Popeyes chicken is the shiznit.

Hells bells is ain't seen them in forty forevers. Hey on a side note, the other day when I was in town I got all messed up on rogain and couldn't drive. Well anyway our bro let me stay in the extra bedroom til I could get my senses back. I ain't been over there in a while so he gave me the grand tour..................Bro, I need you to splain to me why our bro Hotrod gites pictures of teeths everywhere. I waz in the crapper tryin to read the sears catalog and when I looked up........TEETH, there waz a big picture of some teeth next to the shower. I did my business and when I went back down stairs....................4 pictures on the wall, all of em waz teeths. I really likes our bro 'cause he is like family and all , but we gites to git him a hobby ur somethin. Whilst I was sleepin he gite up and waz walkin up and down the street shoutin " I am a creepy bastard and I need a inamah" Horace Madison from across the street took a shot at him. I laughed and that woke him up. Hey you got any fire crackers?

Gotta go use the folgers can......................me and Cephus had scrambled robin eggs and toasted mouse innards with orange marmalade. ooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh SHEEEEEIIITTTTT.

[Hotrod Jr]

Originally posted by Dash
Popeyes chicken is the shiznit.

Hells bells is ain't seen them in forty forevers. Hey on a side note, the other day when I was in town I got all messed up on rogain and couldn't drive. Well anyway our bro let me stay in the extra bedroom til I could get my senses back. I ain't been over there in a while so he gave me the grand tour..................Bro, I need you to splain to me why our bro Hotrod gites pictures of teeths everywhere. I waz in the crapper tryin to read the sears catalog and when I looked up........TEETH, there waz a big picture of some teeth next to the shower. I did my business and when I went back down stairs....................4 pictures on the wall, all of em waz teeths. I really likes our bro 'cause he is like family and all , but we gites to git him a hobby ur somethin. Whilst I was sleepin he gite up and waz walkin up and down the street shoutin " I am a creepy bastard and I need a inamah" Horace Madison from across the street took a shot at him. I laughed and that woke him up. Hey you got any fire crackers?

Gotta go use the folgers can......................me and Cephus had scrambled robin eggs and toasted mouse innards with orange marmalade. ooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh SHEEEEEIIITTTTT. Damn Pictures of teeth everywhere...? Sorry bro ill have a talk with him...
Do you remember Adam Culpepper ...? He's one of those guys we used to catch jackin off during gym class...Whats so exciting about racket ball we used to say..And then he would have to say somthing soo educated no one would understand..What a nerd..Now here we are...He tried to hook up with marg and she turn him down cause hed only do it doggy style like he's born on a barn....Come to find out he was..But thin again jolie is comin with me later and we all know that she knows how to party...She bonged 3 beers in a row last get to gerther...OLe culpeper wont no what to do do...Last time he had a girl put the move on him ...Well You remember Dash...Tell us about it

[Dash]

Originally posted by Hotrod Jr
Damn Pictures of teeth everywhere...? Sorry bro ill have a talk with him...
Do you remember Adam Culpepper ...? He's one of those guys we used to catch jackin off during gym class...Whats so exciting about racket ball we used to say..And then he would have to say somthing soo educated no one would understand..What a nerd..Now here we are...He tried to hook up with marg and she turn him down cause hed only do it doggy style like he's born on a barn....Come to find out he was..But thin again jolie is comin with me later and we all know that she knows how to party...She bonged 3 beers in a row last get to gerther...OLe culpeper wont no what to do do...Last time he had a girl put the move on him ...Well You remember Dash...Tell us about it

Oh yes.....I certainly do remember. Let's see, if memory serves correct Culpepper would be the gentleman referred to as Goat Humper. A name well deserved, or so I have been told. Back in the day "Goat Humper" was definitely a force to be reckoned with on the local bestiality circuit. I suppose the conversion from animals to humans was inevitable with Goat Humpers success rate. However, once the ante was raised the win ratio was drastically altered. I do believe it was Marge that handed Goat Humper his first (of many) heartbreaks. That was the evening of the infamous "Ruckus in the Truckus" party all those off road boys from Kentucky were having. Seems Goat Humper decided to try "bonding " with a true female when he laid eyes, or eye ( I have it on good authority Goat Humper has only one misshapen eye situated right in the middle of his rather expansive forehead) on the lovely Marge. After stating his desire to copulate with Marge, Goat Humper eagerly awaited his just rewards. Marge looked him over and respectfully declined. Now if you don't know Marge you can't fully appreciate that statement "declined". Marge has been known to accept offers of carnal knowledge from virtually any type species known to man, and I do believe she has engaged in some type of ritualistic sex act with aliens as well. Up to the moment she refused Goat Humper's request we all thought the word "no" wasn't even in Marge's vocabulary. At that particular moment in time the world as we knew it ceased to exist. From that point on the course of relations between man and women, Goat Humper and beast was forever changed. Marge became respected throughout as having truly developed morals and was also described as being overly selective in choosing her "partners". Goat Humper however was shunned by a society he was never fully accepted into and was forever destined to live among the beasts that also would never fully accept him, but would none the less allow certain indiscretions with him. Of course this I hear is only out of pity and even in the animal kingdom those acts are seldom heard of. I could elaborate or even embellish the story, but that wouldn't change the facts nor would it alter the way anyone may perceive this sad tale, so I will leave it with this final note- In a world filled with wanna be racers, talkers, and animal stalkers, it's good to know there are some of us out there that can truly appreciate the small things in life.....................like a hot chick next to you instead a smelly old goat.....peace, I'm outta here!!!!!!

[Hotrod Jr]

Foe shizzle......:eek: :D :clap: :rejoice: :lol: :werd:
If i had to put that in so many words i couldnt have done it any beter....

[Hotrod Jr]

I meant to tell you earlier...I went to jeds last night for the 5th annual cock fight event that he hols in his kitcen...It were wild em chickens were squalkin and shitin ever ware..Betsy got some in her nachos and didnt even know..It was a hoot, if i had no'ed you werent goin to have to work that night shift at krystals you could a went...We are gonna grile out at paulys tonight an eat some chitlins, Just dont tell the beasley twins cause agetha and sue may are gonna be there..and im gonna hook you up with sue may...shes a irish german yankee from london...Jamie, you know...that redneck at aint got no teeth..he used to court her around but i reckon he got tired of her...She dont like flowers so just bring her a fresh can of copenhagen and youll do jus fine shes a nice refined gal...Shes even got all but 4 of her teeth..

[Dash]

Originally posted by Hotrod Jr
I meant to tell you earlier...I went to jeds last night for the 5th annual cock fight event that he hols in his kitcen...It were wild em chickens were squalkin and shitin ever ware..Betsy got some in her nachos and didnt even know..It was a hoot, if i had no'ed you werent goin to have to work that night shift at krystals you could a went...We are gonna grile out at paulys tonight an eat some chitlins, Just dont tell the beasley twins cause agetha and sue may are gonna be there..and im gonna hook you up with sue may...shes a irish german yankee from london...Jamie, you know...that redneck at aint got no teeth..he used to court her around but i reckon he got tired of her...She dont like flowers so just bring her a fresh can of copenhagen and youll do jus fine shes a nice refined gal...Shes even got all but 4 of her teeth..

I gite fired from kristal last night dude. The night manager caught me borrowin some toilet paper for our trailer. I tole you to get it from the texaco station down the street. They never check the mens room and thats the good stuff they use. It's real dark yellow and it textured to clean better. I herd all about sue may. I met her once when jamie was porkin her. she shore is a looker. I bet she look good all lickered up wearin a jack daniels cut off tee shirt and some tight ass jeans from da walmart. Who wee. I better get som rest. we gonna have some fun tonight............hey you think I otta wear my new Hank Jr concert t shirt? it look good with my second hand wranglers and dingo boots. I'm gettin excited bout tonight. a new hottie and me all spiffied up in new duds. I might take a bath too. When you get home will you heat me up some water over the trash burnin barrell. I gotta get some rest now.

[Hotrod Jr]

Yea from whut jamie says you beter git sum rest she libal to run you every ware but loose...shes a wild one ....Ive still got the tape from when she made it big and went to the Jerry Springer show cause her aunts uncles brother jim was havin an affair wit her sisters brothers mother second cousin jenny...Jenny came out and womped him up side da head wit a skillet, she was mean...Good thing she aint like her nun...But anyways id wear dat hank shirt it might turn her on....But i dont no bout the boots id probably wear dem ole kangaroos you got so you can put the spare key to the trailer in the pocket so yous dont lock your self out...Ware youens thank your goin....after da party................................Awe hell joe just called and said someone stole his blow up doll...now whats we gonna do fur fun during the week..you cant have nuttin nice.....oh yea...Joe says hi..He say if you take her by the walmart shell be yours for the taking....He left me a picture of him at the swap meet he said we could hang it up on the refrigerator..Dont look like hes aged a bit in a couple of years...

[Dash]

Originally posted by Hotrod Jr
Yea from whut jamie says you beter git sum rest she libal to run you every ware but loose...shes a wild one ....Ive still got the tape from when she made it big and went to the Jerry Springer show cause her aunts uncles brother jim was havin an affair wit her sisters brothers mother second cousin jenny...Jenny came out and womped him up side da head wit a skillet, she was mean...Good thing she aint like her nun...But anyways id wear dat hank shirt it might turn her on....But i dont no bout the boots id probably wear dem ole kangaroos you got so you can put the spare key to the trailer in the pocket so yous dont lock your self out...Ware youens thank your goin....after da party................................Awe hell joe just called and said someone stole his blow up doll...now whats we gonna do fur fun during the week..you cant have nuttin nice.....oh yea...Joe says hi..He say if you take her by the walmart shell be yours for the taking....He left me a picture of him at the swap meet he said we could hang it up on the refrigerator..Dont look like hes aged a bit in a couple of years...

That Joe won't ever change. I see he still has his two good teeth. Just between you and me................nobody stole the doll. Joe told me he faked the whole thing and turned it in on his insurance. He's gonna take the settlement and go buy another doll. He tole me he's bin wantin to have one of them may nodge a twar things. I said it sounded like fun and me and you would be in for it too, but joe said , hell no, only him and the dolls. He tole me he's namin 'em soon as he gets a paint marker sose he can write it on 'em. I think I gite our trailer rented out. If you thank we can live in the uhaul van for a while, you know til we get the tree house done. I'll go ahead and let biff move in. He said we waz welcome to stay there to if we needed more time to finish our tree house, but i said no. Biff smells like peanuts and wet hay. When he gets to drinkin he starts cryin. I member once he gite so drunk he messed his britches and tole everybidee it was on account his bowels waz possesed by demons. his maw found out and made him go see reverend boagamill. He smelled for two weeks after that. The reverend quit preachin and moved to florida. I think he took biff's mom with him. Hey guess whose here, yep its pap..............................he's been smokin the little cigs again, pap go lay down on jr's bed. don't take off your shoes in the house............................hey jr, paps has a fish stick stuffed behind his ear.........looks like it's been there a while. After he goes to sleep i'll get it. we'll share it when you get home. I gotta go get the folgers can fer pap, he ain't feelin well.

[Hotrod Jr]

Fur sure dont forgit bout me on that fish stick...Ole pap aint feelin good...he probably got somthin from miss boutmires cat...Just make sure he aint got no whiskey wit him ..you know that stuff makes him do wild things...I used to hate it when we wuz younger and he would get tanked up and sit on the porch singin sum kenny logins..danger zone..and act like he was flyin a plane...But it got maw all excited when hed sing purple rain theyd go in the shed and make dem funny noises...Member when they was in there that one time and we thowed that hole role of black cats in there...paw messed all over himself...He thought clampy roberts next door did it cause he had a crush on maw..Paw thowd a beatin to that poor boy..I think thats how we met adam culpepper...him and slappy used to spend hours and hours in the barn throwin the meat to each other as they called it...they told us it was a game they had came up with but we was too young to understand..but paw sure did hatem he used to call em qwars. Member adam is the one ole man richards ran off his property for getin on all his goats..he tried to say he was jus ridin em but we all new the truth...I heard he was gone to cosmatology skewl...Thats what peter asken told me when i was over there tradin him sum baseball cards for those pork rinds he had left over from the superbowl....

[Adam Culpepper]

grown men would have the balls to call me out, instead of burying some half ass attempt at slander in a bunch of silly shit.

filthy liberals.

[Hotrod Jr]

Originally posted by Adam Culpepper
grown men would have the balls to call me out, instead of burying some half ass attempt at slander in a bunch of silly shit.

filthy liberals. AAAA OK...:stumped: :dumbass: .....

:bash: :box: :whip2: :dumbass2: :freak: :stupid: :lol: :nuts: :owned: :smack: :spank:

liberate that jackass...:group:

[Dash]

Originally posted by Hotrod Jr
AAAA OK...:stumped: :dumbass: .....

:bash: :box: :whip2: :dumbass2: :freak: :stupid: :lol: :nuts: :owned: :smack: :spank:

liberate that jackass...:group:

Lame reply huh Jr. I think we got to him.

[Adam Culpepper]

what?

[Hotrod Jr]

What was that....?:stumped: O OK...Someone is calling you from the car side...Better hurry..All us morons in here are too fast for you anyways...:rolleyes:

[Adam Culpepper]

im not exactly sure what youre talking about.

your girlfriend Douche said something to me that didnt make sense.

[Hotrod Jr]

Originally posted by Adam Culpepper
im not exactly sure what youre talking about.

your girlfriend Douche said something to me that didnt make sense.

So your saying....You make sense?:rolleyes:

[Adam Culpepper]

no, but i make long skidmarks out of all the motorcycle riders i can run over in city traffic.

[Hotrod Jr]

Originally posted by Hotrod Jr
So your saying....You make sense?:rolleyes:

[EdwardETraylorIII]

I'm scared. Very scared.

[Dash]

Originally posted by EdwardETraylorIII
I'm scared. Very scared.

Very impressive Ed, By God jump right on in. this is our stress relief thread. Goofy shit, but lot's of fun. And hell, look at how many hits. Apparently people enjoy the read.

Dash

[EdwardETraylorIII]

I'm feeling it!

I'm not sheepish (at least not in culpepper's way...)!

[Nova]

Originally posted by Adam Culpepper
grown men would have the balls to call me out, instead of burying some half ass attempt at slander in a bunch of silly shit.

filthy liberals.


I think he is tryin to say her name was mary not marge

[00z28]

do stop till you get enough

[Hotrod Jr]

Damn bro since i moved next door 3 boxes up from u i isnt seed you in a while...Not much has changed here, we all went out to the boot scootin boogie club we used to go to wit the baltimore twins and had a blast, i think bro actually got some from that indian girl with a couple of teeth, yea jus like him. Cause dey went out to the old station wagon and didnt come back till a couple of hours later. But you missed brent doin his howdy dowdy dance. He says its the macarania or somthin but we all know hes makin it up, cause he aint had rythm since easy-e died. He had a guy with him ridin one of dem pink girly bycycles and his name was mark he was acting like he was a little light in his flip flops but i wasnt about to say anythig to him cause thats the ole boy you used to snail rase with...You know kind like that guy named jason..You know the one that got your name from margret ant and keept tyin to git you in the sack till paw confronted him about beeing a quar. That was funny paw called him a spam tickling jerry rigging Boy George. I hadnt laughted that hard since paw tried to git you a record contract cause he said you souned like prince. He allways was a sucker for purple rain

[Hotrod]

Time to bump this thread back up for the "gruntster" .:rofl:

[Oldfart]

Good Idea HotTurd! Need ta start talkin shit again. Vern..

[Dash]

I wished Ida seed dis earlier. Ida been up datin dis stuff all redey. Tomorrow I'll fill you gize in on da latist shizzle.

[Hotrod]

Now,this was the good ole days.:rofl4: Before Dash got to good for us.:rofl4:

[Dash]

Man dis is gonna git dat OOZ boy all tore up. Big Marge and da Beasley twins been lookin all over for him and Casey. Said they iz gonna put da hump and bump lovins on dem boyz.